Creative Genius Tied Up In Knots!

Day three of Next Steps Academy finds me firmly placed with group one.  They are younger.  They have an energy that quickly gets out of control. And they have an independent creativity that is surprising.  Their favorite game is "What's Your Business?"  We go around the circle, the first person names the business, the next person responds with what we sell there, and the third person  quickly throws out a slogan for this business.  It's fast.  It's spontaneous.  It's unpredictable. And they love it!  The only one I can remember is a little gruesome so beware!  Business - A barbershop, What do you sell? - Decapitated heads stuffed with stuffed animals.  What's your slogan? - Haircuts priced so cheap, you'll lose your mind!  Not all of them involved losing body parts but each of the kids love being quick and the more creative the better. Nobody's idea is bad.  Nothing is ever wrong.  Well, I take that back.  We had to put a stop to one boy's use of a pretend firearm for every skit.

Today, they formed small groups and developed short skits with a beginning, middle, and end.  Today, we saw more creativity and more anxiety.  More willingness to share talents and more openness about sharing fears.  They worked hard at controlling themselves well enough to be an audience while each group performed and the adults are learning techniques that work to bring the energy down if necessary - back rubs, deep pressure, hugs, especially hugs!

While group one was working on following directions and self control, group two was focused on a short script for the Friday performance that the teachers say is going to be awesome.  They are clearly enjoying each other and are quickly forming friendships.

And, what about our lone boy?  Well, after getting to know him a bit better and some serious brainstorming between First Stage teachers, he had a fantastic day today!  He handled two stories that were clearly "not real" and he spent a solid fifteen minutes in with the group, sharing and listening with everyone else.  The best part, though, is the commitment of other adults here to make this week work for everyone.  Members of the costume department took him under their wing.  They found out yesterday that he has an interest in designing things.  They saw that he had an interest in costumes so they drew up a pattern for him to sew.  They also showed him how puppets are made and offered to help him make one.  His teacher said "You should have seen his face light up!"

So what have the adults learned so far?  You really do need a Plan B... and C... and D.  When a child with autism gets "out of control", he really can't control it.  All of us are completely focused on saying calm and just working with it!

One student couldn't handle the last activity of the day.  He did but he didn't want to have a role in a short skit.  He wanted but he didn't want us to decide for him.  It became a vicious cycle that he couldn't stop, nor could we.  Everyone else in the room kept a focus on the skit.  We finally found the perfect blend of a quiet space, deep pressure, and his book.  When his mom got there, he was calm again.  The last thing he said before he left?  "Let's just wipe this out of our memories, ok?  We'll just pretend it never happened and we don't need to talk about it again, ok?'  I asked him if I could give him a hug before he left.  He said "You can give me a little one.  Big ones are saved for my mom!"

And what did one of the teachers say at the end of today?  "My face hurts from smiling so much!"

Do All The Other Kids Here Have Autism?

It was day two of the Next Steps Academy and the energy level was high!  When we laughed, we laughed a little louder...and maybe a little too long.  When we were told to spin, we spun but sometimes couldn't stop.  Still, almost everyone tried everything at least once.

Remember the boy from yesterday who got up and left the "Beginning of Day"?  Today, he stayed there for the entire time, just positioned at the back of the room.  He had brought two new books.  One was about science projects that could be done in a hurry but he was adamant that you should never do things in a hurry like that!  When everyone moved to their small group, he politely said "No thank you.  I'll just go read my books."

We pretended to make up conversations speaking gibberish to a partner. "Have a happy conversation.  Now, pretend you're angry.  And now be excited.  Don't use your hands and feet, just use your voice." The teacher asked the boy in the quiet room if he'd like to join in that activity.  "Don't you think it sounds like fun?"  "No, that's not a real language! Why would anyone talk like that.  It's not real!"

We made sounds that we might hear in a swamp.  One boy spontaneously gave another a compliment, "Wow, that was a really good frog noise.  I can't do that!"  Some were better at making the sound of the wind.  Some made no sounds but pretended to be an alligator.

By mid morning, everyone was ready for a break.  The group in Room One got their snacks and a book and went off to different parts of the room to be alone.  The group in Room Two stood in small clusters having conversations with each other.  The difference between the two rooms was interesting and possibly due to the difference in their ages.

By the second part of the morning, the teacher with the one young man asked him if he wanted to make friends this week.  He said "Well yes, I do."  To that, the teacher replied, "Well, you can't make friends if we sit alone in this room every morning."   He thought about that for a bit and then said "Do all the other kids here have autism?"  And she said "Yes they do and they are in the other rooms making friends."  And so, for a part of the morning, the boy joined the group, sat with them in a circle, and answered the question of the day.  "What do you want to be when you grow up?"  His answer, "I want to be a scientist."  And then he continued with more and more information.  At one point, the boy next to him asked a question and he said "Excuse me, let me finish please!" So, we'll have to work on making friends but at least he entered the room...for a while.

It would be great to be able to say that all of Day Two went smoothly but that would not be completely true.  As the second session wore on for the younger group, one boy was making announcements letting us know which train was leaving the terminal at that time and what the chances were that they were running on time.  Another boy began asking "How many more minutes?" and he fell apart before the time elapsed.  One had his hands over his ears because it had gotten a little loud and the youngest one tried playing deaf when he didn't like the directions and when no one paid attention to him, he left the group altogether.  He had grown tired of not being able to make up his own plays.

Still, by 11:45, they all regrouped for End of Day.   Our lone boy, once again willingly shared in front of the whole group and many more offered to share acknowledgments.

Day two was about reaching a new level of comfort at the academy!  Day Two stretched all of us...to try something new,  to get quiet when we wanted to make noise, to handle a little more frustration, to last a little longer, and to try out some of that advice from yesterday...there's always Plan B!

Day One - "I Just Want You To Know, You Are All Loved!"

Day one for Next Steps Academy began with nervous anticipation felt primarily by the parents and teachers.  The students seemed calm, prepared with their backpack which held a snack and self selected comfort items.  Without hesitation, each one followed an adult back to the meeting rooms.  Some parents followed and some just watched in stunned resignation.  "I guess he'll be fine.  I'll just go then.  See you at noon."

"Beginning of Day" large group started off with exercise warm ups and announcements.  Three minutes into it, though, one student picked up his backpack, a yoga mat, and his water bottle and said "This is too much!"  He headed for the door followed closely by an adult.  Without incident, he made it to a quiet room where he spent the majority of the morning; looking at his book of lego kits, and complaining about not being able to ever finish what he wanted to say...but wait until you hear how his first day ends.

After large group, the kids were divided into two smaller groups.  One room was for students, ages 11-14 and in another room for students ages 14-18.

One of the older boys wanted to start by saying something. So he formally stood and said, "I just want you to know, you are all loved!"  And so the first morning began!

An hour of drama and an hour of music was the plan, but both first day activities were heavily movement oriented.  The lead teacher began and amazingly all the students followed - activity after activity.  And the laughter filled each room!  Spontaneous actions, blunt comments, unexpected movements all brought joy to the kids and the adults alike.

Do you know what pantomime means?  "Yes, I do.  It's pants that are mine!"

One student quietly writes a note on a whiteboard.  "Are we going to do any Shakespeare?"  A teacher reads it and calmly says, "I agree.  I would like that too."  And so it went.

We pretended to lift and pass heavy balls and tiny microscopic balls.  We formed lines and walked, first fast, then as slow as possible.  Then everyone focused on the teacher who stood quietly at the front of the room and started making gestures with her hand. Soon everyone understood what each gesture meant and followed along.  Before the activity ended, they had all taken turns being the teacher.  Then we started to learn a couple of songs, one complete with a hand clapping rhythm.  By the time the morning classes ended, two students were moving arm in arm, one student was wrapped up tight in the blanket that he had brought from home, one student had chewed through a whole pack of gum and kept asking "How many minutes more?"  But they all made it successfully to "End Of Day" where their parents were waiting.

Ms. Jenn said, "Would anyone like to share something that they learned this morning?"  One teacher said, "I would love it if someone would help me show how we did the Ball Activity."  With confidence and courage, one student (the gum chewer) said, "Oh, I will!"  And as he got up, so did many more!  And laughter again filled the room.  That was followed by someone volunteering to act out a pantomime with a partner.  The partner was amazingly willing. Everyone, parents and students,  got involved in guessing what they were doing.  "I was a butterfly and he was a butterfly catcher."

Remember the boy who left the room after three minutes of the Beginning of Day large group?  Well, he was jumping up and down in the back of the room for End of Day obviously excited about something.  After everyone had shared an activity, his teacher of the day said, "I think we have one more."  Straight up to the front he went followed by his teacher saying "You have to see if you can guess what I am doing.  It's ok if you can't guess though.  I will tell you."  And away they went - he pretending to be an alien and she pretending to be a spaceship.  When they finished, everyone applauded.  He handled the noise with grace.  In fact, he smiled and took a bow!  Then he hurried to his spot at the back of the room.

Day One ended already with tears and hugs.  We did it!  And the kids?  Well they just said "I'll see you tomorrow!"

"There's Always Plan B"

They came to us, one at a time, with a mom or dad, an uncle or aunt, or both.  They came to meet us, to tell us about themselves, or to let their parents do the talking.  Some knew why they were meeting us but not all were sure.  What we learned about them is the beginning of our story.

"He's quiet in the morning you know.  Sometimes you have to push down on his head or do wall push-ups.  He memorizes scripts and sometimes, to get him to stop scripting you just say 'Put a bookmark in it'.

"He loves Seinfeld trivia and smooth jazz but it make him angry when someone fake cries."

"I've been in plays.  I can handle a lot."  "We'd like him to stand up for himself more, to take the lead once in awhile."  "Oh, I don't know about that.  I'm not sure really."

"I want to be a Christian singer and a chemistry teacher.  I'm not so good in front of people though.

"He looks like he's not paying attention but really he can repeat back everything that you've said.  No, he's not shy."

"He can imitate voices.  Do Ernie!"

"Why do I want to do this Academy?  What's my goal?  Well, maybe I want to know the history of First Stage.  Is that why I'm here?"

"I brought along some videos for you to see him playing his classical piano.  He doesn't like to practice.  He would rather play video games but he loves it when the audience applauds.  He loves getting attention for playing piano."

"I like to play with legos."  "Tell them what you do with them."  "Well, I like to create sets and then make stop action videos."

"He was once in an elementary play.  He's done intensive autism therapy and music therapy.

"It says here that I will 'Conquer my fears'.  What does that mean really?  Will I have to eat spinach?  I don't like spinach.  What does 'Take a risk' mean?  Does that mean I will have to climb Mt. Everest?  Mom, I don't think I can do this!"

"People say I'm highly intelligent.  What do you think that means?"

"We want him to be more confident.  We want him to make more statements, to stand up for himself, to set realistic goals, to not be so shy, to have an opportunity for a creative outlet, to be flexible, to meet friends, to have something to be excited about, to regulate his voice, to make a friend."

And what happens when you get upset or anxious about something?  "We have him take deep breaths, or go for a walk."  "He likes to draw." "The End."  "That's what he says when he's done talking about something."  "So if you're done what do you do?"  "Well, there's always Plan B.  I just come up with Plan B."

Monday morning is the first day of Next Steps Academy.  It has been designed specifically for children with autism.  The teachers have met for hours with a trainer.  Social stories have been written along with simplified versions of our one-on-one interviews.  We feel like we know them all but each is so very different.  We want them to feel comfortable but this will be an uncomfortable experience for them.  We want them to learn something new but it might be us who learns the most.  And what will we do if this doesn't work?  Well, there's always Plan B!

Stand Tall

There's been no rain for so long. Plants are struggling to survive. I watered the tree line plants and it brought a deer out of the woods to eat something that wasn't dry. All I can do is pray for rain. Most summer months , we want an abundance of sunshine but now the day after day baking sun feels like punishment.

In my last entry, I shared how I always look for the bright side of everything. That's kind of like saying that I want the sun to always shine! In reality, everybody has rainy days and everybody needs the rain to breathe life back into tired smiles. During my journey to Sedona, I "rained" all over everyone but the "sunshine" that filled my soul when I left was stronger than it had ever been. So, I can appreciate the power of rain.

Have you ever heard someone say " The sun must be shining on you today"? And, how many times do we reach out for God's smile turning our faces up to the sun?

Maybe, just maybe God's smile comes in the form of rain too! Right now, the plants and animals are longing for that to be the case. Now, I will always be a fan of sunshine but it's the rain that has helped me stand tall!

Nothing Is Easy!

I took this picture at the small pond in my neighborhood nature preserve.  It looks stunning and perfect.  One would never know that it was floating alone.  Alone, that is,  in a pond filled with messy weeds, some fallen tree limbs, and a discarded plastic bottle or two.

In the eye of the camera or the eye of the photographer, we get to crop out everything but the stunningly perfect!  And then we can pretend that it's reality.

Well, it is!

Everything in life can be beautiful...if we zoom in on it.  That doesn't mean that there isn't debris outside the frame of the picture. Life comes with debris too.   It's up to us to choose what part of this world we are going to focus on.

I, myself,  am in love with the beauty!  I want to surround myself with others who see the beauty too.  What I have come to realize is that if we spend too much time with those who focus on the weeds and debris, we find ourselves thinking that may be all there is out there.  Then we never bother to take a picture. No one wants pictures of ugliness.

Well in my little world, I take my camera.  I look out at the big picture of weeds and downed branches and I choose to take a picture of the one blooming lily pad floating beautifully alone, not deterred by it's surroundings.  It decided to be stunning and perfect anyway!

It's not easy.  Nothing is.  But it is a choice we all have.  My choice is to go with the lily pad!

I Think I Can, I Think I Can!

Apparently, no one told the chipmunk that this was a "bird" feeder!  Apparently, it didn't understand that the feeder was meant to be out of reach!  All the chipmunk understood was that it was hungry and there was food, so it just went and got it!

Why aren't things in our lives that simple?  If I need something or want something, why don't I just go get it?  I think the reason is that along the way, I have had messages that played in my head saying "You can't, You can't, You can't"

"You can't" is often a message of kindness, unfortunately, designed to keep you from harm.  But "You can't" can also be an ugly chain link fence put up to keep you inside boundaries!  Through the links, you can see the world, you just can't quite get to it.

Over my lifetime, I have had my share of "You can't"'s surrounding me but my inner chipmunk said "Yes, but I'm hungry and I see that food right there so I think I can"!

My "I can" attitude pushed me through college, helped me get my first job, assisted me up the ladder at that job and kept me from succumbing to old specified gender roles.

Now, I have to admit that "I can" has sometimes left me stranded on the side of a mountain thinking "What was I thinking, I can't do this"?  But, even then...even then, after I collected my wits, I had to be proud of the fact that I had tried!  In fact, if I hadn't started saying "I can't", could I have gone further?

Over one's lifetime, there are different stages.  At the beginning of each new stage there are chain link fences. Again, these fences are often intended to be out of kindness, trying to protect us.    We try to protect little children  from obvious dangers as they navigate a new world.  We try to protect teenagers for the same reason.  But both of these age groups are like the chipmunk and defy imposed boundaries.  Chipmunks don't see fences.   "You can't" hasn't yet been engrained in their heads.  But then, as you get older, "You can't" is repeated over and over and becomes embedded in your brain and all of a sudden, fences appear.  You become afraid and hesitate to cross the imaginary boundary.  And the chain link fence is no longer about safety, it's about fear!

When you become comfortable again, the fences become invisible.  Then when you "get hungry" and push the boundaries...whoosh - the fence materializes!  Fear sets in.

It's here where you have had to channel your inner chipmunk!  

Now is when you have to say 

"I'm hungry.  I see the food right there."  

And "I CAN" reach it!