Monday, July 12, 2010

Life's Journey - Part 3

The Love's of My Life

There is something far greater than yourself and your dreams! There is something even greater than a marriage. There is the ultimate sharing of your life with children. Children truly need you like no one else ever does. And I find that the need to be needed has been a huge part of my life's focus. It's how I seem to define "love".

Erin was born in 1977. I was 27 years old...and ready to be a mom. I had my Dr. Spock book along with a book called "The First Twelve Months". I had dreams, actually nightmare kinds of dreams about forgetting that I had a baby and leaving her home while I went off to a movie! That never happened for real! I was a very conscientious parent.

Erin cried alot but according to Dr. Spock, a parent was not to spoil a child by picking them up every time they cried so I often let her cry! Today, I would pick her up! I'm sure she knew that I loved her though. She had a pacifier that was just a bottle top. When she sucked on it, it sqeaked. It became a happy sound that I could hear from her bedroom into many rooms on the first floor. When she got older, she always seemed to need some kind of noise to go to sleep by. A Mickey Mouse song album was a favorite that was played over and over again!

When Katie was born in 1979, Erin was only two. She was still my baby but now looked so big compared to new baby Katie. She called her Kay-a-We-a, short for Katie Marie. Katie didn't cry as much. I seemed to have gotten down the "stay calm mom" stuff. She also didn't have a pacifier but she sucked on the nose of a little rubber giraffe until the whole thing fell apart. Katie and Erin shared so many things and Katie followed Erin's every move sometimes giving up things too early because Erin had outgrown it. They shared the same bedroom and I could hear them every night talking through different events - planning out the first days of school, deciding what they would be for halloween. From the time Katie was able to cross the street, she could be found over at Janie's, a neighbor ladies house. Janie was the one who did a better job of handling cuts and stings. Witch hazel was some kind of magic potion that cured everything along with oversized bandages.

Erin and Katie have been my morning and sun and stars! They have taught me what real love means. Love did not exist in my childhood. My childhood was about obedience and fear! Love existed in my marriage, in the beginning, but I realized that the love there was more one sided. The love from Erin and Katie has always been two way. They have given me as much and many times more love than I have been able to return. The memories, too numerous to list fill my heart with complete satisfaction. Life's Journey - Part 3 has been the ultimate joy!