Sunday, February 8, 2009

Friends and Family and More

I returned from a vacation to find that a "friend" was taken to the hospital and is in serious condition. I have not spoken to her in over a year.

The "friend" is a person I worked with for many years - she, a music teacher and I, a special education teacher in an elementary school. We collaborated on many elementary musical productions together: laughed and created some amazing shows actually. I considered her a very good friend. I moved on in my career leaving behind the teacher role and entered administration. She would comment often about crossing to the "other side"! She got angry when I ran a staff meeting before a holiday with business as usual. She said loud enough for all to hear "You should know better!" After she retired, she wanted me to join her for lunch and insisted that now that I was in administration there was no need to return in an hour. "You don't need to go back. You're an administrator!" I stepped back.

We moved into the district as part of a requirement for being in administration and my husband and I called often to ask if they wanted to join us for dinner but she and her husband were always busy. We hosted two parties for her and other teacher friends and were never invited back. We stopped calling.

This friend suffers from arthritis and ended up confined to her home and to a wheelchair. I should have gone to see her. I know I should have continued to reach out. When we did happen to see each other, there was anger in her face and her words were full of blame. "Why don't you come to see me? Why don't you call." I said, "The phone works both ways." and I backed further away.

Instead of being a friend, I left her! Now she lies in a hospital and the family is asking for words of kindness, prayers, and memories to fill her mind. I want to tell her how much I enjoyed those early days. She and I would sit at her dining table and eat pizza and write the script for an elemenentary musical extravaganza year after year. We loved the fun of it all. Her face would glow at the end of each production. We had made memories for so many kids. She had coveted those memories for years and years after. Oh how I wish I could have continued to share those memories with her. I wish I could tell her that I didn't leave her. She left me!

1 comment:

Erin Peschel, CMP said...

I am now publically a "follower" to "tell the author and the world that I am a fan"! Love you!!!