Ok, it's not so bad after all!

Did I just type that? Do I really believe that? Here's the thing...I struggle with the following things:

1) I love my job but hate the stress!
2) I could retire but the thought freaks me out!
3) The thought freaks me out because it feels like a teetering bridge to old age!
4) I don't want to get old!
5) I pretend that I can stop it by just not retiring!
6) Retiring though would reduce the stress!
7) Ultimately stress makes you old before your time!
8) And...I don't want to get old!!!
9) Maybe I'm already old and just don't know it!
10) Can I just concentrate on being young one day at a time?


Do you see the dilemma? There are times at work where I feel completely on top of the world! It's during those times that I think that I could possibly work forever.

Then there are times, I like to call them "the great equalizers" when I feel as though I do something that brings me literally to my knees! It happened this week.

We struggle with trying to tell people as politely as possible that they need to continue to improve their skills so that they stay relevant in today's market. Teachers seem to think that they will always be relevant! I made the mistake this week of using one person by name as an example of someone who had not kept her skills sharp. She retires this year! The conversation happened because we are contemplating not filling her position. This leaves a potentially heavier work load for others but more importantly a change in their schedules. Well, word got back to this poor person that I had "bashed" her good name! I quickly sent an apology but the reality is that I can't stop thinking about how sad the whole thing is.

It saddens me that others in my field hold on so hard to the past that they do not see the changes happening. They don't hear other's whispers. "How soon before Mary retires?" "How much longer are we going to have to keep doing things in this outdated way?" "What is the purpose of her position anyway?" "Couldn't we save money if we just didn't fill that position?"

I said the words outloud! I then apologized because no one should hear something like that two weeks before they retire! I would hate for others to be thinking or saying that about me!

How does one know when it's time if people are afraid to say the words outloud? The great equalizer this week is that this person, who has lost relevance, could be me!