I consider myself a rule follower, always the "good girl". I obey traffic rules. I didn't experiment with drugs during college. I sit in my assigned seat at a ballgame!
And yet, when it came to assigned gender roles, there was always something in me that fought against the simple act of following. Most times, the "path" was clear but almost always I said "Well what would happen if I went this way instead"?
When I was young, this very behavior was seen as being obstinate. It caused a rift between my mother and myself that was never resolved. But there I was, this timid, awkward creature, trusting my instincts and veering off the chosen path just to see what else might be out there.
In the beginning, each time I ventured out, I kept the chosen path in my line of vision at all times. I will never forget how I used this strategy when I first entered the workforce after college. My plan was to work as a teacher for three years to get my life time teaching license and then quit and be a full time stay at home mom. My plan - veer off the chosen path then come back - did not work, though, because what I ultimately found on the other path was something that I liked just as much, if not even better. I also realized that the adventure and discovery that occurred when I took different paths was exhilarating!
I believe, now, that this is the reason I can embrace change with relative ease. Over the past years, I have heard others complain about how difficult it is to deal with all the change that's occurring around them. In fact, it seems to be causing them severe anxiety. To me, change is just following a different path. Change is also being willing to constantly evaluate your current path to determine if it's taking you where you want to go.
My life has been about trusting my instincts and following unexpected paths. To my daughters, I have said, "Life provides different doors for you. You choose to go through a new door or not." On the other side is...well you have to go through it, yourself, to see!
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